Passion In The Dark
By Elorie Alton
NC 17
Disclaimer: All Voyager characters are the property of Paramount. No copyright infringement is intended.
They knew they were in trouble when the turbo lift began to slow with an ominous flickering of the lighting system. Within seconds the lift had stopped and the lights extinguished plunging Commander Chakotay and Captain Janeway into darkness; darkness so complete that he couldn’t see the end of his own nose. It was like being smothered with night.
He hit his combadge, only to hear a flat dead sounding chirp, a sure indication that communications were down too.
"Damn it," he quietly swore. This was absolutely the last place he wanted to be right now, here in total darkness with her. He had spent the last forty-eight hours avoiding her, inventing other commitments when she asked about lunch, pleading fatigue when she invited him to supper, claiming they needed to talk. Didn’t she know she had already said all there was to be said?
So close, he had been so close to having a relationship with her, Kathryn had been so close to accepting his love for her. He knew that once sparked, the fire that burned between them would never die, that once ignited there would be no going back. Now after only two days, his memories of New Earth, had taken on a bittersweet quality, and he grieved for the lost promise those weeks alone with her had given him.
He pleaded with her to continue to build their growing relationship. But she expressed doubt in her ability to be a captain and have a relationship at the same time. He even offered to resign his commission, to become a civilian, but she wouldn’t listen, and told him that she needed a first officer more than a lover.
So when she denied their feelings, he began to untangle the ties between them. He knew in his heart that if he couldn’t be her lover, he couldn’t be anything. The last two days had been pure misery, and he almost wished he had stayed behind. That solitude couldn’t be any worse than the rejection he suffered here.
"Chakotay," her husky voice assaulted him. He felt her hand touching his chest, the touch that once filled his heart with warmth and delight now burned through him with agony. "Will you talk to me now," her voice slightly echoing in the darkness.
Unable to take anymore he yelled, "No!" and pushed her away with such force that he could hear her hit the wall. "Don’t touch me, don’t you ever touch me again." He sank down squatting on the floor fighting for control. As soon as his breath steadied he spoke again, "I’m sorry, Captain, I am very tired, I’m going to take this opportunity to grab a nap." Then he sat, trying to calm down, trying to regulate his breathing so she would believe he was asleep.
Finally he heard a soft sigh and the rasping sound of her body sliding down the wall, as she joined him on the floor sitting in pitch darkness.
How long they remained that way, sitting on opposite sides of that darkened turbolift, he would never know. He sat there feigning sleep, praying that she would leave him alone.
Slowly he became aware of another sound in the darkness, a sound so soft that at first he thought it was his imagination, but it wasn’t. Slowly it seeped into his ears, into his heart, extinguishing the white-hot anger he had carried for two days. Kathryn Janeway was crying, softly sobbing in the blackness.
He crawled, reaching out in front of himself in the darkness, feeling for her, following the sound of sobbing and a whispered plea over and over. "Please talk to me, I’m sorry, please don’t leave me," as if her heart were broken.
"Kathryn," he whispered, finding her curled into a tight ball, slowly rocking in time with her words. She recoiled when he touched her as if his touch inflicted as much pain as hers had earlier.
He felt his resolve crumbling as he let his anger go, knowing now he could never leave her. She was his joy, his happiness, his heart, and without her, he would be a walking dead man.
"Don’t cry, Kathryn, I’m not going anywhere." He pulled her up into his arms and she nestled into his chest, her body still quivering with grief. "I’m here, I’ll always be here."
He could feel her body move in closer, and he reached out touching her face, feeling her wet cheeks. "I love you, how could I be anywhere else?"
"Chakotay, the last two days have been awful. I can’t eat and I can’t sleep. I honestly thought it would be best for us to wait until we get home but I find I cannot wait even two days, I miss you so."
"I’ve missed you too, but I can’t be just a friend to you or just your first officer. I need to be more, Kathryn, I need everything, and unless I can have that with you then I’m nothing at all. Don’t you see?"
"I know now that any distraction you might be as a lover has got to be less than this torture." She sobbed. "I need to hear you breathe at night, it’s too quiet in the Captain’s quarters. It’s too lonely."
Her words dissipated the last of the emotional anguish he had carried since they returned to Voyager. Slowly he became aware of just how tightly she hung onto him, and he lowered his face into her hair, just breathing in the scent of her
He turned slightly, lifting her until he sat on the deck with Kathryn in his lap. Hooking his thumb gently under her chin, he tilted her face upward and began to shower soft kisses on her cheeks and forehead.
She moved with him pressing her face into his lips, and then returned his kisses wherever she could. He cupped her face with his free hand, holding her steady while he sought her mouth. He was rewarded with a deep groan of surrender that vibrated through his probing tongue to build a different fire within him.
He swept his tongue across her open mouth, tracing her lips, then back to meet her tongue in a wet duel that almost took his breath. There was something so sensuous about being with Kathryn, cocooned in complete darkness. He could feel the contour of her jaw under his thumb, taste the sweetness of her mouth, smell the scent of shampoo that lingered in her hair. Although he missed being able to see her, he didn’t need it; all he needed was Kathryn here in his lap brushing against his growing erection whenever she shifted. Spirits, she felt good.
Chakotay moved from her mouth, down her cheek, burying his face in her neck, breathing in the scent of Kathryn. Her breathy whispers combined with the toying nips to his ear fed the fire inside him. Over and over, "I love you, Chakotay, God how I love you," she whispered, freeing his heart and soul.
Though at first the sensation of the touch of fabric was erotic, the barriers of their uniforms eventually began to frustrate Chakotay. He craved the softness of her bare breasts, and the damp heat of her folds; he wanted to free his erection so she could stroke him with her small hands. Nothing short of Kathryn, naked, underneath him would satisfy him now. As if in answer to his desire, he felt her pulling at the fastenings of his uniform.
They both fumbled in that inky blackness each trying to remove the other’s clothing and growing more frustrated by the moment. Finally Chakotay gently pushed her away catching her hands in his.
"Take your clothes off, Kathryn. Take them off and let me love you."
The sound of her breath catching sent shivers of longing through his body and he stilled waiting for her to answer. She moved slightly away fumbling with something, and then came the sound of a boot hitting the deck. He began to quickly remove his own uniform.
Once all the barriers were removed, Chakotay again stretched out his hand seeking her in the darkness, finding her sitting quietly, slightly turned away. His hand brushed up her back to settle on her smooth shoulder. For one small moment he thought she was having second thoughts, then he felt her hand grasp his and pull it around her body as she moved back against him. She rested his hand against her breast as she arched up running her free hand around his neck, pulling slightly so their lips met.
"Touch me," she whispered into his mouth. "I’ve wanted this so long."
He cupped her breast in his hand studying its shape and weight. Its soft liquid movement against his fingers added fuel to his growing arousal.
Stroking her breast with feather light touches, Chakotay maneuvered them both down until they lay on the deck, stroking, touching, and learning each other’s bodies in the dark, and in his minds eye he could see his fingers against her ivory skin.
He could feel her hands on his body, touching and caressing him building his fiery arousal higher and higher as she gave into the passionate woman he knew she kept hidden. Kathryn not only took delight in his soft touches, she also groaned with pleasure each time she stroked him. He reached down grazing through her folds, finding her clitoris, making her moan deeper. That sound alone drove his need to unbearable heights.
He didn’t have to see her to know she was beautiful. The little breathy sounds she made in the back of her throat told him how ready she was for him, and the feel of her damp heat only confirmed it. Finally he rolled over her, fitting between her thighs, his erection brushing against her heated core.
He fought for control as she tilted her pelvis in a final act of surrender, giving herself to him completely. "Now," she whispered. "I love you more than I’ve loved anyone."
In one swift movement Chakotay joined his body with Kathryn’s. "You are my heart. I love you more than my own existence." Then he began a slow steady stroking in and out, moving deeper and deeper within her sweet flesh as she matched him movement for movement.
"More, Chakotay, I need more," Kathryn whispered, urging him to go faster. Groaning he rose up slightly and began to move faster until he felt her orgasm grasping him, milking him. He wavered on the brink, basking in the pleasure-pain, praying at once for both immediate release and that this joy of love with Kathryn would last forever.
Finally the fire he held at bay poured through his body bringing release, and he poured his semen into Kathryn, giving to her the life of his body, then collapsed down on top of her.
As soon as he caught his breath, he rolled off her gathering her up in her arms.
"I love you Kathryn."
"I love you too Chakotay, I’m only sorry that I didn’t realize that fact much sooner."
He kissed her with soft soothing caresses as she relaxed dozing in his arms. Soon the turbo lift was quiet with only the soft breathing of two sleeping people.
=^=
"P’takh!" B’Elanna’s voice rose above the others. So loud that even Kes, monitoring the activity in engineering from sickbay could feel her ire.
"Kes, are they ok?’ She asked over the sound of crackling circuits.
"Just fine, Lieutenant, I thank they are both napping now," Kes answered.
"Sleeping?’ B’Elanna questioned. "You’d have thought from the way they’ve been acting the last couple of days, that they would have killed each other by now. I still can’t figure out what’s wrong with the turbo lift. It’s as if a force field has settled around it. Everything I try just bounces off. Let me know if there is any change in their conditions. First the Doctor goes off line and now this."
"I’ll keep you informed, B’Elanna, Kes out."
Kes watched the bio signs from the sleeping couple. She had already replaced the earlier active readings with these sleeping ones. Now if anyone looked they would only find the bio signs of a sleeping Captain and Commander.
She would release the Doctor from his "malfunctioning" program shortly, and restore communications. The couple could call for a site-to-site transport. Then she would release the barrier she had placed around them. She was tiring from all the mental exercise but if it got those two people together it was worth it.
=^=
In the quiet darkness of an off-line turbo lift, Kathryn and Chakotay peacefully slept for the first time since their return from New Earth, while their guardian angel, an Ocampian pixie named Kes, watched over them.